The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had the experience; you are just about to leave the house, but your little one is holding you back hunting for his favorite teddy bear. Or your eight month old won't stop crying because her pacifier is suddenly lost. As parents you know how draining a comfort object can be in your life. On the other hand, to a child the need for his worn out, tattered teddy bear is what seems debilitating. Security objects are just what they sound like, and are a healthy and essential part of childhood.

By the time most children reach one year of age, they have already chosen a comfort or security item they need with them always. For children under age one, a binkie or even their own thumb will typically work quite well to calm and relieve them during their time of need. As your little one becomes a toddler, they might find something a little more physically comforting to protect them like the aforementioned teddy or blankie. It is believed that texture is partly responsible for the calming effect they've got on young children. Toddlers usually pet a teddy bear or rub a blanket on their arm or face to soothe themselves.

Another soothing feature a toddler can find with a soft comfort item is the fact that it reminds them of you. Rubbing the soft blanket on their cheek might remind him or her of your soft skin or clothing when cradled or embraced by you. Or perhaps the blankie was always part of the sleep or naptime routine you created with your child. Once again, the connection with you giving comfort to your toddler or making him feel protected is what prompts the attachment to these comfort objects. On occasion a child will make a comfort item out of less traditional belongings. It could be just about anything from a heart shaped block to a pair of socks. Even though this attachment isn't as apparent, there is more than likley some emotional connection the child has made to find security and comfort from the object.

However distressing it may be for you to cope with your child's continuous need for their toy or blanket, it is important to consider that this phase is both healthy and necessary. The world is terrifying to small children, especially as they reach their first birthday. It is sometime in these years that a child suffers from separation anxiety since they're more likely to become separated from you through playschool, child care, or even by their own choice as they are capable of exploring their world. With a comfort item, your child is learning to comfort himself when you aren't necessarily available and as they magnify their independence. Consider it as a temporary partner to get them through this phase.

It won't be until your child reaches age three or four that she or he starts to control and regulate their own emotions and no longer need to rely on a security object for securtiy, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It is also around this age that carrying around an old dirty blankie may be less acceptable by your child's classmates. Who knew children had to deal with peer pressure issues so young? Anyway, it is better for you the parent to respect this phase of your child's life as the milepost that it is. Doing so will likely foster their emotional developement. Certainly something worth momentary irritation.